Butt Labor Pains

Why do you treat me with such disdain?

I wipe with the number of ply for which no butt could companion.

Yet while I sit, you just hover and ruminate.

And act like I’m scraping you like some cheese that one grates.

You have the power to push and might to deliver.

Yet you dribble out the food with a faint little quiver.

Whatever happened to that brick pushing hole so heroic and strong.

I sit here reminiscing about that old Johnny Cash song.

If truly you were, as they say, a “ring of fire”.

Then put out the flames, lest your mouth, it perspires.

Because a bandaid approach, right now, is as far out of the question.

As me removing this poop via cesarean section.