False Sense of Security

Why is it one's butt feels more than a butt.

The poop flows out yet the weight stays with the gut.

I thought my glutes would feel the force of an unforgiving seat.

Yet the frame that squats on it has achieved some rare feat.

For how is it my butt's shape stays the same.

After a five-minute ordeal, none of which I'd call tame.

I lost three pounds, but where, I ask you, from where did it come.

Because my butt cheeks sit flattened, saddened, and now numb.

I won't even feel my pants go over my cheeks.

But the toilet seat will have its victory, as once I'm off it, it creaks.